Theft by Deception

This is a post about farts. Not mine, granted, but farts none the less. I don’t mean to be crass, but in the name of information sharing, this must be posted.

Today, somebody came into my office and let a big one rip. I shot him a dirty look, and he sheepishly replied that it was “an accident.” I informed him that it surely was not, because I saw his leg lift and his knee bend. That, I said, was intentional. He told me that that was a reflex and that he has to lift his leg when he farts due to the size of his balls. When testicles are too big, you see, they have to be lifted slightly or you’ll gas them. I assured him that that COULD NOT be a real concern. But it is. People with low hanging balls apparently do have to lift their leg to avoid misting their goods. What happens if you decide not to lift and shift, you ask? Neglecting to lift ones leg during a big balled fart can result in “eggy tasting balls” which apparently….. the ladies no likey.

So, the next time somebody tells you about their massive balls in an attempt to show bravado or teste shame you, be sure to inform them that they can keep their ’huevos a la diabla’ in their carton because this ain’t no picnic and you aint interested.