February 2011
61 posts
Going to Raleigh North Carolina in April
Maybe I’ll stay
How to get that pesky woman in your office to stop...
Coworker: Did I tell you what my guinea pigs did last night? They are so cute. I let them run around and crawl all over their new play..............
Alex: Oh. Ha. Ahh. Well. I'm actually eating now, so..
CW: Oh you don't like to talk while you eat?
Alex: Not about guinea pigs
CW: Whats wrong with guinea pigs?
Alex: They're sick rats and I can't think about them while I'm eating chicken because they probably taste just like this. urgh. I can't eat this. I can feel their hair in my mouth
CW: .........
January 2011
51 posts
Sitting by the Cock of a Gay
I spend a lot of time riding the street car. I spend a lot of time writing about the street car. But by far, I spend the more time than most thinking about the street car. Needless to say, I have major transit anxiety. I always sit; I don’t like to stand. I don’t do standing ovations, I don’t stand for the national anthem and I sure as hell don’t like to stand on transit....
Behindthisbeard
I have a new name! It’s time to shake things up a bit/ shake a few folks from my hometown from viewing my blog.
Don’t worry everybody. I’ll still write the usual trash and post blurry pics from my phone. I am well aware of my skill set
a fist full of love
Alec Brown
When your best part/ worst part equation starts...
The best part about me suffering through our Golden Globe party is that we have so much beer. The worst part about so much beer is that I feel like going out on a Tuesday. The best part about going out on a Tuesday is that all the boys are older. The worst part about older boys is they love to get handsy in public. The best part about letting somebody get handsy in public is they try to loosen you...
blaaargh asked: Sometimes you're the worst friend — why am I only now hearing about your Golden Globes party through coverage on MTV?
1g5g Golden Globes →
Anyone care what us fggts talked about during the golden globes? MTV came over to our house and blogged about/ filmed it. I managed to slip in a passions reference. Mission accomplished
Dr. Gabor Maté on the Stress-Disease Connection,... →
Ants on a Blog
If I was an animal I would be an anteater, I guess. I’m told I look like one. People used to tell me that when I was in elementary school. My face was so small and my nose was so big. My classmates used to have celery with peanut butter or cheese whiz and raisins on it for their snack at school. They would pluck off all the raisins and accuse me of sucking them all up with my nose....
This week had 6 days
This week had six days. Thursday didn’t happen. Literally, I can’t remember any of it. Wednesday night I purchased some new benzos from a friend. They are used by most for panic attacks but used by me to chill out. I don’t do them often, maybe four times a year. A friend of mine gave me 5 because I have been having trouble sleeping.
I can’t sleep anymore. My mind is racing...
For the Visually Imphaired.
When I stayed at my brothers over Christmas I had to sleep in his media room. There was a massive flat screen beside my bed and I was excited to fall asleep to television. The only problem was that I did not know how to turn off the Descriptive Video Service. I was watching “My Name is Earl” late one night because it was the only thing on and there was some dude describing every move...
Bridoplasty has ruined other reality shows for me
We were watching the bachelor tonight (don’t judge) and my roommates and I kept being like “Ohh god, I can’t wait until she gets her nose fixed” or “I bet she’ll do her teeth first.” Then we remember that there are no surgeries on The Bachelor and that we will have to look at the contestants as is for the duration of this season :(.
1 girl 5 gays no cubs
I am shooting 1 girl 5 gays on Wednesday and I shaved off my beard. My lil twink face is going to be exposed to the whole country (well, at least to a handful of jr high schoolers.)
One mascara beard coming up.
The Nanny Guyaries
I know it sounds like I have given up on life, what with me refusing to move out of my friends living room and all, but things are about to get just a little bit sadder… our house is getting a nanny! We found her on craigslist and she seems pretty legit. Her rate wasn’t attached to the posting but I remember that Fran Fine from “The Nanny” makes $500 dollars a week, so that...
Alex: You like the new Britney Spears song?
Roommate: Yeah, I guess. The lyrics are trash though
Alex: It's a pop song? Were you looking to really connect with one of her lyrics? Has that ever happened to you during a Britney Spears song?
Roommate: Email My Heart
Alex: ohh true that
Crash cab
Did you know that I came the closest I have ever come to dying yesterday? I was running across the street to catch a cab and wasn’t paying attention. I jolted out in front of some car and was missed by, like, 2 cm. I literally could feel it about to hit me and I had to jump out of the way. The car swerved and almost hit my roommate which would have been bad but much nicer than hitting...
I cant read the name of the website 'The...
Without chuckling because it sounds like Drag Chloe pronouncing toast
Watching the movie ‘Heartburn’ and ...
In 2011 I can't sleep
I think it was because I was toying around with sleeping pills for plane/ bus travel and also because all that sleep was giving me medium like visions. For real. Somebody get me an electronic cigarette and a gallon sized glass of margarita. It’s going to be another long night
RE: The regional accent activity
blaaargh:
Noooo! It’s very handsome and woodsy! The Americans will love it.
Ok. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’m Just working out some of the kinks with my voice coach, Craig T Nelson
Today at work I accidentally double booked myself...
and no word of a lie I literally Ms. Doubtfired the shit out of both of them (they were on different floors). That’s right, I attended two meetings at one time. And Just for good measure I changed the part in my hair for each room. Middle part for the lower level, side part for the upper. Although, near the end my hair was just looking a jumbled mess. I think I need a new product that is...
thesensiblemule-deactivated2011 asked: What did you end up getting your brothers? Those white boxers you posted a while ago?
mathunderwood asked: you are super hot man!
-matt
-matt
Ajokenewyear
I should say something about the new year. You all have probably been dying for this post. No? Ohh, your newyears resolution was to unfollow trash tumblrs? That would explain how I dipped back down into the double digits. But for those of you who are still around I would like you to know that I don’t really give a shit about the New Year. It’s starting to seem like nothing more than an...