January 2010
68 posts
Why are female comedians generally so excruciating...
2burgers2fries2dietcokes:
dbizzle:
There are a few exceptions who make me laugh, but for the most part female comedians are just. not. funny. I wish they were. Not trying to be all against my gender or something stupid that a stupid person might accuse me of, ha. It’s just true.
Couldn’t agree with you less. Obviously you’ve just never seen good ones. And posts like this piss me off...
Dogs of War
jaystarr:
Today, Justin’s boss read an article about dogs working alongside US soldiers in the Middle East, and announced they’d be writing a feature about those dogs. I have pitched a few ideas for a title. I hope my dad is proud of these war movie puns.
Air Bud: Air Recon
Behind Enemy Lines Because of Winn Dixie
Missle Silo and Otis
Beethoven’s Second tour of duty
Hurtlocker Bound
...
Opa! I just found season 4, episode 1 of Skins online.
I have a problem. A big, big problem.
I have the most fantastic roommate around. He is the biggest sweet heart you’ve ever met and I love him. Just one thing; this person is tacky as fuck. He buys all of these spur of the moment decorations and I am too ( much of a pussy) polite to tell him that I hate them. For instance, in my living room I have not one but two framed posters of Times...
National Tragedies That Have Occurred on My...
tacklinginequalities:
Challenger Explosion (1986)
Death of J. D. Salinger (2010)
Current design of the flag of Canada is chosen by an act of Parliament (1965)
Whoa. Massive news. It’s our flags birthday! We must celebrate. Red and white themed party at my house and then off to Woodies for best chest. I mean, that’s what people do on flag day, yes?
The woman I share an office with at work needs to stop singing damn Christmas carols. It is almost February. Stop it!
The person in question reads my tumblr often, so I guess this is fairly passive aggressive :S
important cats from television
folkinz:
lucky, from ALF
MADcat, from inspector gadget
miss kitty fantastico, from buffy
salem saberhagen, from sabrina the teenage witch
garfield
tom, from tom & jerry
snagglepuss
snowball I, snowball II, snowball III, coltrane, snowball V, from the simpsons
toonces
morris the cat
azrael, from the smurfs
scratchy, from the simpsons
sylvester
Ohh, how about Fat Cat from Chip...
Alley Cat!! →
I found the link to that game I wrote about on the weekend.
Alley cat! This probably warrants a sick day, yes?
Update:
They use “paws” instead of “pause”. As a young dyslexic kid, I wonder if I found this funny or confusing?
Girl...Interrupted
Today I was messing about in the kitchen when one of the more homophobic residents of the shelter asked me to pop in some toast. I put it in and started to tell a long story. He cut me off half way through and said ” Dude, my toast!” To which I replied ” Ohh this toaster, she takes a while to toast, giirrrrrl”. I was instantly mortified. I called a client girl. Normally...
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Cankle in mouth
Woman: I wish my body matched my face, my face is so pretty.
Alex: Yeah, but I mean, you've had two babies so.........
Woman: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Alex: (Starts to panic) Ahh, well, face is more important anyways, and well, baggy tops are in, in the early 2000's there were a lot of tank tops, Ahhhh. What, I'm saying is there is really no covering a face. Well, I guess you can wear make up, which you are, but not too much, I mean you're not like a chola or anything. You look nice...
Some dude: Man, I am begging you to stop talking
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Maybe I'll be in Ginuwine's new video?
I just spent the night with some youth at a break dancing workshop. I was stuck at The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health all day, so I was pretty pumped to escape all that stuffiness. My excitement, however, faded when the dance instructor asked me to participate. This of course, made every ounce of anxiety medication that I am currently taking wear completely off. Break dancing? I...
Sexual health find #2 →
CLAP MAN
The object of this game is to roam around the maze eating all of the pills whilst avoiding the dreaded Clap or Gonorrhoea whichever you choose to use, but all the same a very nasty bug.
I will never get any work done again.
I am going through some sexual health trivia at work and I just learned that bats have the highest rate of male homosexuality out of any mammal. Is this where the term Batty boy comes from?
“Would you like a tray, Ma’am?”
– The woman at Tim Hortons reminding me that no amount of beard will make up for my ladyness
